Once upon a time I was a self-employed IT Consultant in sunny (but super shady) South Beach. Back then, I thought I was ‘happy’. Yes, I was definitely “comfortable”, but that life was very different from what I know now as true happiness. The destruction of that old life began shortly after I rediscovered running. On April 15th, 2013 the very foundations of my life shook as I felt the shockwave from the first explosion in Boston. It took over a year and overcoming some serious PTSD to get past the demons that experience unleashed inside. But that moment set two of the cornerstones of my future life. Running became the single most important thing in my life, and the goodness that I witnessed in humanity in the aftermath… that became another central tenet of my future.
But it wasn’t enough. The illusion of happiness had been shattered. I was dead inside. And I’d lost the love of running.
I needed something more, but I didn’t know what it was. I stumbled upon it by chance. I decided that if I couldn’t rediscover the love of running by exploring someplace ‘exotic’ *on foot*, all hope was lost. I cashed in some miles, jetted across the Atlantic, and took a gamble. I landed in Romania, took the train to the seashore, and laced up my running shoes. I promptly fell in love with running again, with life in general. On that trip I discovered the final cornerstone of my new life: nature. I ran along the seashore, through (haunted) forests, up mountains and through one of the most diverse biospheres in the world. Along the way I met some incredible people (and some pretty cool runners). I returned a new person.
But I returned to the same life I left. Like pretty much everything in Miami, that existence was fake. I wasn’t living my best life. I wasn’t being true to my inner self. But it was who I was, right? I had an old life, and I had new incompatible cornerstones. I trudged along trying to reconcile them. And I was happy. With these new cornerstones in place I’d discovered that happiness is *always* a choice. I’d become psychologically invincible. Somehow I’d make it work - meshing my new priorities with my old life.
Life has a peculiar (and sometimes cruel) way of working out when you let it. It did the dirty work for me. Almost four years ago, as I was cycling home from work, that old life got crushed. I got mowed down by a (likely) distracted motorist as I cycled home from work. She sped off, and local authorities made sure it got brushed under the rug. That old life came crashing down. The worst of my injuries: a traumatic brain injury that plagues me to this day. My cracked bicycle helmet likely had a good bit to do with it not being worse. The spinal issues complicated things further, and a whole slew of other complications have made my health a mess ever since.
But I was alive. And I *still* chose to be happy. Somehow, this would be better in the long run.
My old life continued to burn to the ground. I lost the business I’d spent over a decade building. I lost the condo I once thought I’d call home for many years to come. Many of those I thought were on my side, turned their backs on me… at best. I was in financial free fall. Food, shelter and all those little comforts I’d grown accustomed to - they were luxuries now.
But I’d put my faith in those three cornerstones. I ran as much as my brain could handle. The TBI had messed up my motor skills and balance. Left foot, right foot, face-plant is still forward progress. I trudged along. I’d get excited when I’d see that new studies were showing that endurance activities (like running) created new neural pathways. My old ones had been nuked. That was exactly what I needed. Running was life.
That I didn’t always have traditional shelter turned out to be a blessing. Pitching my tent, or stringing up my hammock out in the beauty of the natural world led to some of the most peaceful, relaxing, beautiful and healing nights of my life. Running, hiking, rucking, hitchhiking to and through so many beautiful natural splendors… that was my medicine.
And the people: my new life has been 100% dependent on the goodness of random strangers. I could never have done any of this alone! And by immersing myself fully into the running community? I was rewarded with the best of these people on my side. This running community… all of you wonderful Half Fanatics and Marathon Maniacs…. have become my family! I’ve lost count of how many times those among this family have helped me earn my way into a race, allowed me to hitch a ride to/from/between races, and graced me with some floor space when stealth camping isn’t the best option.
But it’s not just the tangible things. Over the past four years, I’ve had to cut ties with almost everyone from my old life. I’ve grown tired of comments such as “get over it”, “stop playing the victim” or “it’s only a problem because you are so negative about it”. My brain is changed, I’m not the same as I once was. It doesn’t work the way it used to. It never will. The old me is dead and gone. My old ‘friends’, family and circles refused to let go of the old me and could never accept that I am different now. So I let go of them, and embraced this new circle. Meanwhile this new family has embraced the new, true me. On my toughest days, a hug from a fellow maniac, words of encouragement and of course planning for our next marathon… these are the things that helped me keep my head up, and trudge forward on a very, very challenging path.
Yes, by societal standards I am a failure right now. I’m unemployable, my credit is a disaster, my health is even worse (far worse than I usually let on). By some standards I have nothing. But by the important ones, I have everything! I’d decided a long time ago: I will *always* be happy. That is a choice I will continue to make, no matter what. And I’ve decided that being ‘different’ than the self I once thought I knew… it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. This new me is 1000 times better. And this new life has only just begun.
So thank you all, my maniac and fanatic family. Thank you all for helping me to make this adventure so incredibly epic. 3000+ miles over each of the last few years! Over 52 halves last year and similar fulls this year! Together, we’ve covered so many miles (and races) in so many places. From the beautiful scenery of the Vacation Races halves, to the epic history of Boston and the other majors. From the powerful silence at the start of the OKC memorial, to the rowdy post race parties at A1A, Shamrock and others. From the cobblestone roads of Rome, to the characters at Disney. From big city noise, to small town charm…. This is a truly beautiful world. And we’ve still got so many places left to run!
When I pace, I often tell my group: “If you want inspiration, ask the last person that finishes today why they did it”. There are tens of thousands in this family of ours. Every one of us has a story to tell. For so many of us, running has been the key to our physical and mental health. For so many of us, this community has been the same. I’m honored to have you all in my life, humbled to have a part in yours, and excited to share many more really epic miles with this ever expanding family.
Distance running is as much a mental sport as it is physical. We’ve got our running shoes, we’ve got some races to run, and we’ve got each other. That’s all we could ever really need!
Kenneth R. Bereski II MM #15114
]]>If you would like to read more by Ken, follow his blog at http://konfedence.com/blog/. Thank you for sharing your story Ken,and for being such a wonderful and powerfully raw member of this community.
Short Book Article:
"I am not sure who is responsible for this quote: “Bad news travels in threes.” Well, my “threes” came in 2008, while sitting in an oncologist’s office at The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. First, the oncologist confirmed that I had leukemia and would soon require chemotherapy. Then, he informed me that the average life expectancy with my cell markers was five-to-seven years.
What made this a “ three-fer”? He advised me to stop running for fear of rupturing my spleen or causing a hemorrhage. Following this advice—or rather, this directive— would prove easier said than done. Far easier. For me, not being able to run was the worst of the three pieces of bad news. You see, running is my passion, my “why.” Now, more than ever, it is why and how I have been able to manage the diagnosis of leukemia, life expectancy numbers, chemotherapy, and everything else tossed my way.
I am not an elite runner. I am not even a good runner, but I am decent enough to have qualified for the Boston Marathon; however, you will not find any race trophies adorning my shelves.
Even though I am not among the privileged when it comes to running ability, I enjoy lacing up my running shoes each day and savor my time pounding the pavement. Not being able to do so disrupts my psyche and makes me depressed and grumpy. In other words, I am not fun to be around when I cannot run.
My dad once told me, “When doctors tell me that I can no longer smoke my pipe, they can cut my head off and throw it in the coffin with my dead body.” Being only eight years old when I heard that, his logic seemed rather extreme.
I never assumed I would live forever; but prior to 2008, I had never given much thought to dying. Now, I understand what Dad was saying. We are all going to die, so we may as well die doing what we love. According to the poet Frank O’Hara, “We fight for what we love, not are.”
What I did next may seem foolhardy, but it was what I needed more than medicine, chemotherapy, or doctors. After briefly following the oncologist’s advice, I decided to run again. More than that, actually, I would take my running to a new level. In February 2009, I began a journey to run a marathon in every state, plus Washington, D.C., by the end of December 2012. (That would be fifty-one marathons in forty-seven months.) I would challenge my limits and that of my leukemia.
More than one person commented, “Are you crazy? Why try to finish by the end of December 2012? What is the rush?”
Those people could not appreciate the fact that the sand was rapidly escaping from my (metaphorical) hourglass. My first symptoms appeared in December 2006, and Dr. Butler diagnosed me with leukemia in November 2007. When I made this goal in 2009, I was already two-to-three years into my life expectancy of five-to-seven years. Besides, without setting a time limit, my goal was nothing more than a passing thought. It was something I had not yet considered to be worthy of completing.
Consequently, I would use leukemia to my advantage as it attempted to hasten the sand escaping from my hourglass of life. This would become my excuse to travel. I would visit all those places in our country that had long been on my list to see. In other words, I, not leukemia, would do the dictating, at least for now. I stopped racing the clock and began racing leukemia to the finish line of my goal. I felt like I was now racing against the angel of death.
If you are reading this book, you probably fall into one of a few categories. If you are a runner, you will be able to relate to many of my adventures. Maybe you are a cancer patient or a family member of one. You, too, will be able to connect with many of the stories in this book. In fact, there is something for everyone. After all, this is a memoir. In these pages, you will find me writing about love, family, childhood stories, friendship, eating, drinking, war, history, and poetry. There is humor, tragedy, travel advice, adventure, animals, and insects, too. Of course, there are also stories about running.
As you read each chapter, see if you can discover where the title of each chapter originated. I liken this to looking for the sewing needle on one of the pages in the magazine Country. The quote at the beginning of each chapter represents the premise of that chapter. The photos included in this book are those I took during my travels. A “Chapter- Related Memory” at the end of various chapters is a recollection that surfaced during the writing of that chapter.
This book has two sections. Section I describes my initial diagnosis of leukemia. Woven into this section is how I developed a passion for running marathons, especially the Boston Marathon. Section II describes my attempt to accomplish my goal of running a marathon in every state with my “sidekick,” leukemia.
My aspirations for this book are numerous: One of them is to offer reasons to believe in God. Others are to provide a tribute to my mom; to recognize those individuals who helped me confront the harsh reality of cancer; and to remember the people in my life’s journey who helped shape my belief system and my character. These people are partially responsible for my successes. They pointed me in the right direction and led by example. However, even though they prepared, aided, and nurtured me, the rest was up to me. I took those experiences and shaped them into my future. Consequently, I alone am responsible for my failures.
There are people who leave footprints in the sand, and some even on the moon. More important are those who have left their footprints in my heart. Their footprints, like those of the dinosaurs that archaeologists have found fossilized deep in the earth, will remain with me forever.
Lastly, I hope to inspire you, the reader, to never give up on living and to never stop doing what you enjoy in life. Bob Hanson, race director for the Prairie Fire Marathon Wichita, Kansas (2010) and special friend, began his e-mail race updates with “Challenge your limits; don’t limit your challenges.”
I am optimistic that my journey will serve as a useful road map for yours.
[I am eight marathons short of completing the states a second time. However, the long-term effects of chemotherapy have affected my cardiovascular system and running has become painfully stressful. I am limited to running only the distance between telephone poles before having to stop and walk. However, I continue to hang on to my passion.]"
All profits from this book will go to various charitable organizations, including pediatric oncology). Through running, Dr. Phillip Fields has raised over $50,000 for Nemour’s pediatric oncology, $10,000 for the ALLY Foundation and $8,000 for Dana Farber.
]]>This week we are proud to share the accomplishments of Mrs. Susan Smith’s Third Grade Class who ran 26.2 miles over the course of 8-weeks through our Flying Fanatics Program. All year, her third grade class at Centennial Elementary School have been following Ms. Smith’s husband’s goal of running a marathon in all 50 states in 1 year to reach Titanium level in the Marathon Maniacs. This past spring break Mr. Smith completed his final state with the Big Island International Marathon in Hilo, Hawaii; it was this momentous occasion that inspired the class to run their own marathon.
This project started out as a geography lesson for the students. “I thought it would be fun for my third graders to keep track of the states,” Susan commented. She provided a map of the U.S. and on Mondays they would utilize the map to answer a variety of questions such as: Which state do you think he ran? Does anyone know where that state is? What is the two letter abbreviation? ect. The students enjoyed being a small part of Dan’s quest. Almost right after, I read about the Flying Fanatics and emailed Chris “Hollywood” Warren about signing up my whole class. With the school administration's support they were able to push forward.They began early March, “We would usually do three or four loops around the front of our school which worked out to be about 1.2 miles.” The Flying Fanatics program also tied in with Centennial Elementary’ s Hearty Heart program where children learn about the importance of eating healthy and exercising.
“At first,” Susan commented, “I was a little worried they would not like to do all that running, but they were always excited to get outside and take a break from the classroom.” If it rained they ran in doors, and when it was nice out they would loop around the school. She even had a number of individuals join them on these runs including her student teacher, former student, and of course her husband.
For the final race Susan had invited the children’s parents to either join their children on their run or spectate and cheer. She gave them personalized cow bells to ring and made “26.2” themed cookies for her class to eat as a reward. With the finish line, creatively wrapped between two tether-ball poles, the children raced happily to complete their final goal.
“All in all this program was a big success in my classroom. We even had a newspaper reporter attend our finale day. He had come to interview my husband about his fifty states goal and he included my class’s Flying Fanatic running program in his story! …The students really enjoyed all the special perks – the t-shirts (which we wore for our class yearbook photo), the water bottles, tattoos (they all wore on the finale), stickers, and the awesome medals, of course.”
Thank you Susan for being such a great teacher and role model to your students. It is individuals like you who invest in the future and well-being of our children who are making the change we want to see in the world.
This project went so well that we here at the Maniac/Fanatic Headquarters would like to sponsor another classroom this 2019-2020 school year. If you or someone you know would like to implement the Flying Fanatics or Mini-Maniacs in your classroom or even for your own children, email us at info@marathonmaniacs.com.
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For those who don't know, each year a small number of members are inducted into our Hall of Fame. To be eligible they must:
1. Be A Member In Good Standing For A Minimum Of 3 Years
2. Complete One Of The Following Criteria
a) 51 Marathons or more Per Year For 3 Consecutive Years. *Races can start at anytime during the year, but must run consecutively for 3 years*. [Example - first race is run 5/1/17, second year would start 5/1/18, and final year would start 5/1/19. A member can finish their 51 early only on the last year. Any extra races run during the first 2 years can't be used to count towards the 153 total races.]
b) 5 Time 50 States Finisher
c) 99 - 100 Mile Finishes
d) 333 - Lifetime Marathons / Ultras
Steve joined the Maniacs back in 2004 and has been with us for the past 15 years. He was the first member to join from, America’s Dairy land, Wisconsin and finished all 50 states back in 2005.
When asked how he got into running, Steve shared that he was, “more of a cyclist in the early 90’s but my work kept sending me overseas for weeks at a time and I couldn’t bring my bike. I signed up for a marathon training class in 1996 to give me some reason to run instead.” He trained for six months and ran the Dallas White Rock Marathon. “It hurt so much,” Steve commented, “I swore I would never run another one.” Somehow he joined the class again in the following year and when he ran it again it wasn’t nearly as bad. He has been tracking his running ever since and this week Steve will hit 37,000 total running miles. He says, “Running is just part of my day now. Every day, wherever I am, the first thing I do is go for a run.”
In his 15 years with the Maniacs, his list of marathons are extensive. One memorable marathon he shares is The Quad Cities Marathon in Moline, Illinois. “I ran the inaugural marathon in 1998 because I had a friend living there and I wanted to visit. Back then I was always looking for destination marathons. I ended up running the Quad Cities 5 years in a row when the race director formed the 'Interstate Road Warriors’ with the people that had run them all... this year I am signed up for my 22nd year in a row without missing.”
We asked Steve to share his favorite marathon, one that he would encourage other Maniacs to participate in and he said, “The Pikes Peak marathon was my favorite race for a long time until my last state, Hawaii and the Kilaueu Volcano Marathon. They were both beautiful and challenging but completing the 50 states put Kilaueu over the top." **Photo: Quilt made from at least one shirt from each of the 50 states
Thank you Steve for being a part of the Maniac family for so long and we wish you the happiest retirement.
Marathon Maniacs before anything else, is a community of runners. If you or someone you know has a story you would like to share, please submit them to info@marathonmaniacs.com.
]]>Richard serves as a pediatric ER nurse as well as a hospital supervisor at Mary Bridge Children's Hospital in Tacoma, WA. She has dedicated her life to improving children's health and says, "I absolutely love taking care of kids, it's the best job." She says that running has undoubtedly contributed positively to her professional life. “Running has given me self confidence in all areas of my life, especially at work,” she says. “Running has made me realize that I am a leader.”
In her eight years running, she has completed 29 marathon, three 50-mile races, and several 50Ks. This 2019 she will complete her forth Boston Marathon as a Healer. Richard comments, "I believe that being a runner and Healer go hand in hand, as Healers we always persevere." Awesome job Jaime, you're such an inspiration to us all and we wish you the best of luck!
To learn more about the 2019 Hyland's team and follow along as they train, visit hyland.com/boston or Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
To read more about Hyland's Inc. checkout www.hyland.com
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